The test all stylists must pass
by garlandfruit
Summary: This is a oneshot on the life of the one human "allowed" to live in the underground fairy city. His name is dawn, and he is a hair stylist. The LEP comes by the salon after a hard day to test him.


**I don't own artemis fowl or anything else you recognize.. I guess you can call this an AU. Disclaimer done. Author out.**

Dawn had been in the underworld since he was 1. His adoptive parents are two elderly centaurs- Jill and Ted Krepler. His adopted sister was Celeste. Now he was 16 and employed as a salon stylist for a small high-quality place that catered to centaurs. They were one of 5 places that would take care of a centaur head to toe. Dawn would maintain a bowl of goodies at his station.

Today was a hot humid day underground. If you were wondering about, if you took it easy and dressed lightly, you'd be alright. But for Dawn, the hair salon was just hot enough his normal uniform was too much. As Dawn worked today, he wore only a pair of hip-hugging spandex shorts (with the salon's name and logo going up his left leg) and some sandals. Now grooming a centaur is quite a work out, and his lean muscles were all nicely toned. He had a crowd of young teenage girls of various species in front of the window.

"Dawn. Looks like you have an audience." His client Mr. Hogan, an elderly centaur with a Clydesdale body, said as he looked out the window.

"Yeah… Those girls are sure interested in this place. They've been here off and on since 9 o' clock this morning."

"Are you sure it hasn't been since you donned the new uniform?"

"I don't know. I don't see how that would pull them in."

They looked right at him. When he had finished with Hogan, he rinsed his sweat off and dried off. He went to his station and swept away the hair.

He walked out the door and looked at the female crowd. There was now a teenage boy watching too. "Hey. Its pretty hot out here. Why don't you all come in and have a drink? I also have some snacks if you want."

"Inside? We get to watch you work from inside? But we have lots of full water bottles."

"Whatever gets you guys out of this heat. I am concerned for your health."

Gasps and blushes spread amongst them. One pixie jumped up and down saying yes.

Dawn noted she had a notebook and pen… Was she taking notes? Whatever, they were coming in now. Once they all settled down to whispering amongst themselves, a centuar came in with two pixies.

"Are those all walk-ins?" Foally asked Dawn.

Dawn chuckled. "I wish. They seem to be watching us work today, but we don't mind. They could be doing a lot worse things on a Saturday, right? So how can I help you today?"

Foally had come in with Commander Root and Holly. He had singed fur and looked like he had been dragged behind a shuttle's rocket. Dawn said, seeing as his boss had gone out for a bit.

"Give these two whatever they need or want. I will cover this out of pocket." Commander Root said waving a handful of dinari.

"We'd be glad to, what would you like sir?"

"To not look like a burnt marshmallow anymore… And a good back and leg rub." Foally said.

"I'd like a trim, a mani, and a back rub." Holly said.

"I can do that. But first, can I see an ID from one of you real quick?"

"Why?" Commander Root half-growled.

"Protocol sir.."

"That doesn't really sound legal for you to look at my ID. Tell me all about this protocol, now." Root growled.

Dawn flinched, but pulled out the piece of paper beside the register. It was code 1366, put in place last month. "It's nothing sir. I just need to confirm you are a real person. We maintain decent prices, but even then a day at the spa can get up there in prices. If a purchase of 400 dinari or more is made in cash from one person, the register will send a report to the LEP unless it is entered that an employee has seen an ID. I apologize for the inconvenience sir, you pay afterwards of course, but seeing as this is a service that'll take more than half an hour- I must check it ahead of time."

"Can you suggest any salon that would have what we want without the ID check?" Holly asked innocently.

Dawn visibly shivered. "I sure hope not. If you find a salon that is willing to skip an ID check for a centaur makeover, I would suggest you walk away and never return."

"But why? Salons are such great places, if they forget an ID check for a large cash purchase… How can it be dangerous?" Holly said sounding upset.

"If a salon won't follow a simple little law, that is a good sign they are skimping out on other things. Like taxes, licenses, training, etc. If you mix troll dye the wrong way you produce a poisonous gas. Pixie wing glitter can form painful crystals... The list goes on."

"Oh? What if I say no to an ID check?" Root said giving him an angry look. Foally kept a straight face, and Holly was looking upset by this.

"Then my hands are tied sir."

"How come?"

"I'm sorry sir, but I can't choose to follow one law and ignore another, can I?" He said looking Root in the eye.

Root smiled. Genuinely smiled. "Your absolutely right young man." Dawn was surprised by Root's reaction. He said handing him his ID. Dawn put it in the scanner and handed it back, still shocked.

The centaur and Holly smiled. He felt relieved to see this. The three then showed him their LEP badges. Dawn took a moment to register this, and he laughed a little.

"You three sure ran me through the ropes."

"See Root? I told you 1366 would be followed."

"So who wants to go first? Fred will be done soon, so there won't be a long wait."

"I guess I will."

"Then please follow me sir."

Dawn first shampooed Foally, then conditioned his fur. He washed the layer of soot off Foally's hooves, and looked them over. "Okay. You need a pedicure like no other."

He used a series of files, brushes, and a hook like object to bring his hooves to a state of perfection and health. "You want some shoes?"

"No thanks."

"K. Please follow me."

He cut foally's thick wiry hair by a special set of electrical shears. Then he shaped it with scissors.

2 hours later…

He had foally looking like he had just stepped out of a magazine. Holly's hair didn't take too long, and it looked amazing afterwards. By now Dawn rinsed off his sweat and groomed another customer as one of his centaur peers massaged Foally.

Dawn's boss returned at last!

**DONE! IF YOU GUYS LIKE THIS ONE SHOT! REVIEW AND I MIGHT GO INTO THE LITERARY VAULT AND PULL OUT MY OTHER ARTIE FIC JUST FOR YOU!**


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